i'm sitting at the Bistro where i really ought to be cranking out this very last literature essay of my college career. i'm supposed to be writing about his poetry compared to his poetry. got to love those old dead white guys. (really, though...if you ever want to read about wrestling with pride and grace, salvation and self-condemnation, God and man...try them. they are sweet.)
God has blessed me. really and truly. in the past week and a half, He has allowed me to enjoy several exclusively Manhattan experiences. these include: many coffees with friends, a morning on the Konza with my BFF, a snowcone from Tad's, 2 gigantic bowls of Call Hall ice cream, lunch at Van Zile with a friend, the view on Manhattan Hill, 2 date parties with friends and my sweet-action boyfriend, a couple of wedding showers, etc. etc. etc.
in college, i have been burdened by these crippling fears: that i didn't do enough to love people, to invest in relationships, or have the kind of life a Christian ought to have. but recently, as i pack up my worldly goods and drive back to Kansas City, i have the best feeling. i feel like i am able to leave here with a contented heart. not everything has been perfect. i do think some relationship troubles could have been avoided had i been wiser. but, the blessings and joys far outweigh the sorrows and troubles. to paraphrase my very favorite author:
"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
of course, he was talking about heaven - but i think i can apply this to closing old chapters of life and opening new ones.
and of course, a Narnia moment applies to: the cry of "further up and further in!" resounded on the Pevensies' lips and the hearts of every noble beast as they raced each other deeper and deeper into Aslan's country.
we're not there yet, by any means. but even though we're not yet in Aslan's country, we can still hear His voice and chase after it. that's what this summer and the coming years are about. so bring it on. wherever He may lead, may i follow. from work to student teaching to ?.
further up and further in.
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